


You Bloom Inside Me

by vobo_jihoons



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Death, Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Oneshot, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 05:59:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16470080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vobo_jihoons/pseuds/vobo_jihoons
Summary: Hanahaki. Flowers growing in the lungs and eventually suffocating the victim. Almost certain death. Stems from unrequited love.Jihoon loves Seungcheol...and his love is slowly killinghim. Will he heal himself and return to feeling nothing for him? Or will he hold onto a happiness that could end up being his death?





	You Bloom Inside Me

 

> **_" You made flowers grow in my lungs and although it's beautiful, I can't breathe..."_ ** _\-- UNKNOWN_
> 
>  

_Shit happens and it all started with a cough. Those that would go away for hours or days and will suddenly come back with the coughing spell when they were least expected._

_Jihoon stared down at the soft yellow petal, almost the size of his fingertip. Why the hell did he have a flower petal in his mouth? He’d never even seen a flower like this, not even eaten one. He swept it off his working area, wrapped it on a towel, threw it in the trash bin._

_Seungcheol was talking passionately about the shitty plot of a movie he watched with Jihoon the other day. Jihoon had heard this story countless times so he probably wasn't paying attention to most of it, but at least he gave him a few reactions to entertain his antics._

_Seungcheol's doe eyes were shining, his face was tinted pink from excitement, and his hands were everywhere. God, Jihoon loved seeing him like that. Yeah. Loved._

_Jihoon had already accepted the fact that he was in love with his best friend over a month ago but he'd come to terms with it only a couple of weeks ago._

_One night, Jihoon was awaken by a weird feeling on his throat --- an itch he can't scratch. Then he coughed. He coughed again. He felt his lungs trying to escape from his ribs but he couldn't stop._

_Seungkwan, his roommate immediately handed him a glass of water while his brother  Chan rubbed his back. He gripped the water and took a big sip as soon as he could breathe --- in his other hand was a handful of petals. He was startled upon seeing the yellow petals escape from his mouth so he quickly clasped his palm and hid the petals under his pillow._

_“You okay?” Seungkwan whispered. Jihoon nodded, swallowed back another cough, and tried his best to smile._

_\---------_

_Everything hurts. Ever since he started coughing daffodils, his sleepless nights had started along with the pain in his chest he can barely endure. A night came when his condition worsened. Jihoon was kneeling in front of the toilet bowl, trembling as he vomits more flowers and blood. The yellow colored flowers no longer looked beautiful but rather a nightmare.  He nearly choked on a stem stucked on his throat before he reached into his mouth and pulled it out.  Fuck, he knew it would hurt, but fuck everything else, he needs to get it out._

_He was stroking his chest when he heard a knock at the door._

_“Jihoon hyung?” a hesitant voice called from the other side of the door. Jihoon coughed, blood dripping between his teeth and tears streaming down his face._

_“... I'm coming in,” Seungkwan stated. There wasn't much Jihoon could do to stop him right now considerng his condition. He couldn't even speak for fuck's sake!_

_As soon as Seungkwan found him in the bathroom, the younger rushed to his side immediately helping him to wipe the blood dripping from his mouth with his eyes filled with worry._

_"Hyung!! Oh my god! How long has this been going on?!” Seungkwan murmured gently._

_“A m-month or two.” Seungkwan was shocked_

_“Do you... do you have any idea what this is, huh?”_

_Jihoon shooked his head. Seungkwan sighed._

_“Hyung, you are in serious danger,” the younger intoned, tears trying to escape from his eyes._

_“Hanahaki is an illness from unrequited love. Symptom is coughing or vomiting flowers. The flowers often have a meaning relating to the person and your relationship to them. The flowers start growing in your lungs and spread up into your throat and, eventually...." he paused, hesistant from what he was about to say, "....they will suffocate you. It's very slow and painful.”_

_... unrequited love? The words echoed in his mind mercilessly. Seungcheol didn't love him. He was going to die. He was going to suffer and die because he loved Seungcheol and Seungcheol didn't love him, not in the way he needed and he was going to die, possibly years from now, and there was nothing he could do but hide the petals._

_“There are, however, possible ways to help you.”_

_“First one, if the person you're inlove with  returns your feelings, or second the modern treatment, get a surgery to remove the flowers. It's painless, but it will remove all the memories and feelings you had with that person.” He carefully told him. So either he die or he forget Seungcheol. He managed to make  hopeless grin. Both were pretty bad._

_Seungkwan looked at him with pity. Jihoon simply stared at the petals._

_Jihoon mentally weighed his options and came with a decision. He gave Seungkwan a sad almost shaky smile._

_“Guess I'll die,”_

_"Hyung!! Get the surgery please. You can't let roses come out of your throat next time. Please reconsider. I don't want you to die! Fuck this!"_

_\-----------_

_8 weeks later, he was over the toilet bowl again at three in the morning. He pushed up his shirt until his ribs were exposed. A web of sensitive roots and flower stems were found on it. It was a crete. He felt like crying._

_He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, but he finally had the strength to get back to his bed. Three hours later ( it had been so long since he’d slept so long without getting up to vomit), he was awoken by his phone ringing obnoxiously. He searched for it sleepily and managed to accept the call._

_“H-hello?”_

_“Ji, where are you? I've been waiting here for twenty minutes!”_

_Oh great. He remembered he has a set date with Seungcheol at 6:30 in the morning. Yet he haven't had enough sleep for the day._

_“Ji? You there?” Seungcheol  needed to stop being so fucking worried about him and sounding like he actually fucking liked him because it wasn't helping and fuck he could feel the flowers forcefully pushing themselves into his throat---_

_He coughed and a waterfall of petals and leaves poured out of him and it fucking hurt and he could never make it stop._

_“Ji??! Ji! I'm coming over.” is all he have heard before the line went off._

_An hour later, Seungcheol came rushing through his bedroom door to find him still in his pajamas and dying----- literally. He came behind Jihoon and gently rubbed his back as he gags. After a good twenty minutes, Jihoon was bent over the couch trying to catch his breath as Seungcheol continued rubbing his back to ease the discomfort._

_“So who is it?” the older murmured._

_Jihoon understood and shook his head, unable to gather his breath to speak. His wheezy breathing was the only sound that can be heard in the room._

_“...You should--- you should get the surgery,” he said. Jihoon shook his head again, tears in his eyes. He couldn't forget him. He wouldn't do it. HE COULDN'T._

_“Ji,” Seungcheol whispered gripping his shoulders tightly, “Ji, this is gonna kill you.”_

_“I know.”_

_He sighed, dragging his hand down his face._

_“Jihoon, please,” Seungcheol begged, his voice catching on the last word._

_Seungcheol pulled him into a hug, and Jihoon almost forgot how to breathe. He felt the petals rise up on his throat and he held down his jaw to keep them down. Seungcheol hugged him tightly and he couldn't breathe well, but when he heard the older sob, he wrapped his arms around him and held him for a while_

_' Sorry Cheol, I'd rather die than forget you. '_

_\--------------_

_Jihoon woke up by an extreme pain in his chest. He gagged and ran to reach the bathroom. He coughed and vomitted----- blood streaming down his mouth. Rose. That's when he started coughing roses. He stayed inside and was immediately pained by a horrible agony ripping through his throat. He screamed._

_Seungcheol burst through the bathroom door. He'd forgotten about him staying for the night._

_“Ji?!! Shit shit shit--- ” Jihoon felt the pain fading seeing the person he loved so much panicking over him._

_“Jihoon, please... you need to get the surgery. You can't live like this, and I----” his voice broke as he blinked away tears, “----I can't watch my best friend suffering like this." Jihoon was now starting to hate that word. Bestfriend. Fuck. That hurts more than the thorns pushing down his throat._

_Jihoon sighed. Maybe Seungcheol was right. He couldn't even leave his bed, much less go to work or go out for a stroll._

_“I’ll... I'll consider it.”_

_\------------_

_Jihoo came with Seungcheol in the waiting room, trying to think of anything but the hospital smell, God, he hated hospitals._

_“Mr. Lee Jihoon?” The man with a clipboard stood in the door. Jihoon took a deep breath and stood up. As he followed the doctor, Seungcheol flashed him an assuring smile, and Jihoon remembered why he'd agreed to do this, so he smiled back._

_He was escorted inside a room with white walls and bright lights. He breathed in the anesthesia and allowed his body to lose feeling.Jihoon opened his eyes to bright lights right above him._

_“Ji! You're finally awake!" an unfamiliar voice cried beside him. He turned his head to see who woke him up from his sleep. A blonde man with an angelic face in white sweater and black ripped jeans was staring at him joyously._

_“Uh, hey...hyung.. what's, uh, what's up?” The excitement dulled from the other’s face to be replaced with confusion._

_“Since when do you------”_

_“JIHOON HYUNG!!!” screeched a tall man up front._

_“Mingyu,” he greeted. Mingyu almost slipped while walking and accidentally hit his ribcage, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as he was expecting. Wait... Why was he expecting it to hurt though?_

_Seungkwan rushed from the door and crashed into him, tearfully telling Jihoon how scared he was and how Jihoon had to promise to never ever ever be that stubborn again._

_Jun wandered in with Jeonghan practically clinging to him. Not that it was unusual. Jun looked like something he'd been keeping for long in his chest had been put off,  like he's been under too much stress, and the two together looked like relieved parents. Jihoon smiled fondly. His whole family was here._

_But…  someone caught his attention.._

_“I'm sorry, mister but, why are you here?” Jihoon questioned the stranger watching them from a far._

_Everyone froze._

_\------------_

_“I'm sorry, Seungcheol hyung. That probably sucks,” Mingyu murmured, gently guiding him out of the room._

_“He--- he doesn't know me. My bestfriend doesn't know me.” he cried._

_“It seems so.”_

_“W-why doesn't he recognize me?! I thought the procedure will remove the memories of the person who had caused him that, not the stupid best friend who paid for the fucking surgery! And why does he know you guys? Like, if he lost memories of one of his friends, why does he still remember everyone else?!”_

_Mingyu looked nervous. Seungcheol sighed._

_“Whatever. I'll just… reintroduce myself I guess.”_

_Mingyu nodded, still looking uncertain, and went back into the hospital room._

 

_A few days later, Seungcheol starts to hiccup..._

 

* * *

 

_Jihoon heard someone call his name causing him to smile._

_“Hey, Soonyoung!"_

_Soonyoung, his boyfriend of 8 months waved him over to the little booth in the café. Jihoon kissed his cheek and sat across of him. Soonyoung's face was tinted a bright golden color. He buried his face in his hands, making Jihoon chuckle. He was so cute when he got flustered. And when he smiles, his eyes form a lovely line on his face. God he loved that._

_"Hoonieeeeee,” he whined. Jihoon could see a smile between his fingers._

_“Yes, love?” Cue flustered Soonyoung and a shit-eating grin from Jihoon._

_“ Anyway, Jun's having a movie night at his place. You wanna go or do you want to stay home?”_

_Jihoon agreed to it._

_“Seungcheol hyung said he's gonna try to come over, but I don't think he will. He's not an emotional masochist,” Soonyoung commented. Jihoon scowled._

_Seungcheol, the guy who had sat with Jihoon in the hospital until he recovered (and made something in his head buzz) would be joining them for the first time in a full year._

_\----------------_

_Soonyoung and Jihoon had been dating for a year and a half when Minghao moved into town. Minghao was Soonyoung's best friend since kindergarten, and they hadn't gotten any more distant._

_“---- and this is my boyfriend,  Jihoon! He scowls a lot but he's really sweet.”_

_“Nice to meet you, Jihoon. Soonyoung's been talking a lot of you...” Jihoon nodded and smiled of embarassment._

_On his his way out, Minghao pulled Soonyoung into a hug that lasted a bit longer than would be deemed appropriate he thought. Something dark developed in Jihoon’s chest, but he chose to ignore it. He was glad he didn't when Soonyoung walked back and kissed him. This was much better than arguing about old friends._

_\-----------_

_They'd been together for two years now, and Jihoon couldn't be happier as long as he didn't think about whatever it was he still couldn't remember._

_He sleepily wandered up to his partner and buried his face in the fluffy hood of his jacket, inhaling the scent of warm cookies. Soonyoung wrapped his arms around him and chuckled._

_“Morning, Hoonie,  you want some coffee?”_

_Jihoon nodded silently. Soonyoung tried to pull away._

_“Love, I can't make coffee with you hanging off of me like a koala!” he said affectionately. Jihoon whined quietly. Nightmares had been plaguing him for weeks with weird images of yellow flowers that made his whole body hurt and a kind, a smiling face with doe eyes that he could never quite remember that made his heart race like Soonyoung did. Jihoon hadn't exactly been sleeping like a baby. Those nightmares were horrible. He just wanted to be held._

_Soonyoung guided him to the sofa and sat down. Jihoon curled up closer to him, and Soonyoung pulled him into his lap and Jihoon hummed in response._

_“Cuddles and then coffee?” Jihoon nodded. Soonyoung rubbed his back as he began to doze off._

_\--------------_

_Three years later, Jihoon and Soonyoung decided to tie the knot and they were loving it.Jihoon loved waking up in the morning with his husband beside him. Everything just seemed better._

_On a Friday night,  Jihoon headed out to a corner coffee shop and waited for Seungcheol to arrive._

_Jihoon liked to think he was a patient man. He dealt with the sideways stares his friends gave him after the hospital, he dealt with the way Minghao stared at his husband because he was patient . But it had been nearly an hour, and he was cold, damnit._

_He fished for his phone out of his pocket and decided to make a call. Seungcheol better have a damn good explanation._

_Seungcheol picked up on the fourth ring._

_“Hello?” His voice was hoarse and thick._

_“Cheol? Where are you? I've been out here for an hour.” This felt too familiar, but also not. Jihoon didn't like it._

_There was a faint sound over the phone, followed by a quiet sob._

_“Cheol?! Cheol, I'm coming over, okay, just hold on.”_

_When he got there, Seungcheol was slouched in front of the trash can with red petals falling from his mouth every few seconds. Jihoon rushed to his side and gently rubbed his back as he continued to throw up pretty red flowers they’d be prettier if they weren't painted in his blood like and suddenly---- Jihoon knew what was happening._

_Hanahaki. Flowers growing in the lungs and eventually suffocating the victim. Almost certain death. Stems from unrequited love._

_Eventually, Seungcheol stopped gagging, and Jihoon found his voice again._

_“So who ----- who is it?” Seungcheol sobbed and whimpered something almost too quiet to hear. But Jihoon managed to hear them._

_“S-stop that. I kn-- know you don't remember but p--please stop copying me.”_

_“What are you gonna do, then?” he did not answer. Jihoon wanted to cry._

_“You need to get the surgery before this kills you.”_

_“No, no, please don't make me, I--- I can't just forget him please don't make me forget about him I can't---- ” Seungcheol stopped, gasping in between his pleas. Jihoon gently stroked his back. He didn't know why he did. It just...felt right. Seungcheol leaned into him, shaking and sniffling. Jihoon felt a wet spot grow on his sweater. He didn't mind._

_“Cheol! please, whoever this is, if he really is worth dying to remember, don't you think he'd want you to live instead of suffering like this?” His old friend glared at him, but it died shortly. Now he just looked broken and miserable. Jihoon's heart broke for him._

_“Jihoon,  please, he got the surgery and he forgot me. All our memories. Gone! I can't do that to him, please, Ji, I love him so much, please, I can't forget, I need to remember him, please---- ” tears continued streaming down his cheeks. Jihoon pulled his hand and wiped his face. Seungcheol just cried harder. He started coughing and coughing and coughing and a handful red flowers fell._

_He feels frustrated. His best friend, the one who'd stayed with him in the hospital and watched stupid movies and listened when he ranted after a fight with Soonyoung and stood as the best man at his wedding, was now dying because some idiot didn't remember him. Life was indeed so cruel._

_Soon, they were surrounded by beautiful red anemones--- forsaken love, and Seungcheol was still coughing up more. He pulled his friend into his chest, allowing Seungcheol to lean on him and let himself be held God knows Jihoon wanted that. His breathing slowed, slowed, and stopped._

_\-------------_

_The funeral was a small, quiet affair. None of Seungcheol's family showed up, but his friends made up for that._

_Soonyoung wrapped an arm around his husband's shoulder._

_“Want to go home, Jihoonie?”_

_Jihoon looked at Seungcheol's grave one last time and nodded._ __


End file.
